Originally posted on Facebook, 2008

What has happened to depth in life? Conversations that receive the token comment, “That’s deep,” rarely are anything remotely resembling. Movies seem to fall into two categories now. They are either 1) re-purposed stories that have held the test of time (yes, comic books fall into this category) or 2)  a spectacle of cinematic special effects and sounds, with a small dash of plot to hold onto some sense of grounded meaning. Millions of people spend their evenings staring at their high-definition, flat-screen TVs, ensconced within the vapid dialogues of reality show celebrities. Where are we producing fruit?

I believe I have lived a majority, if not all, of my life afraid. I’ve been afraid to fail, and consequently, I’ve been afraid to succeed on a grand scale. Am I the “lukewarm water” that the book of Revelation warns us not to be? Actions build upon themselves, and will continue to do so unless the slate is wiped clean. Could that be what is to be done to die onto oneself? Would I respond any better to Jesus than the Rich Man, when Jesus says to him (paraphrased), “Give all your possessions away and follow me.” It leaves me conflicted. Sure, we can say we would follow Him, given what we know now…but what if you didn’t?

Meaning. Purpose. I ardently subscribe to the belief that I should strive for both in my life. In the business world, every company for which I have ever worked emphasizes bringing value into any relationship; whether a simple transaction, or something of a more prolonged nature. If I truly believe in an Almighty God, then I need to raise the question, “What value do I bring to the relationship?”  Again, where is there fruit? How do I please Him and bring Him glory?

If the possibilities of life are as deep as the deepest ocean, I’m most likely the wee lad wading on the continental shelf. Not many people seem willing to swim in the waters where your feet can’t touch the bottom…

…there is definitely less security when you venture forth into deep waters. Drowning is something that terrifies me. I could lose my stamina swimming through large waves. Deeper waters are darker waters; knowing what sea life is below the surface—in close proximity to you—is difficult. There are undertows that can pull you underneath the surface of the water. Why take the risk?

Because where there is great risk, there is often great reward. The irony is that all I need to be willing to risk is something that I cannot keep anyway!

I look at myself and have to ask what am I doing right now? Why am I wasting my time? How can I get where I should be? What is the best way to wipe the slate clean and follow the passions my Master placed in my heart? Academically, I chose a path that positioned me well for the American Dream. Yet, I do not want the American Dream…

I want something much more valuable. Jesus, call me into the deep waters…may I follow your beckoning.

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