my beloved ms j…

let’s pretend we made amends and we’re still friends
and rather than a poem you’ll likely never see, you chose to spend this day with me
during that time I had with you, there’s so much that i’d want to do

my beloved ms j…

we could go on a getaway…
go the entire day…
travel far away…
and enjoy the beauty of the beach…
far out of reach…
put the brakes on everything else, let life’s tires screech…
in celebration of you, the sun is bright, and the sky blue
and we’d have fun while enjoying the sun…
maybe go for a run, or walk along the soft sand, doing so hand-in-hand…
all while getting tan…sound like a plan?

my beloved ms j…

or

we could go to your family’s farm, with the prophet and the bringer of light…
take in all of nature while being silly and flying a kite…
wandering amongst the sunflowers…
enjoying the landscape for hours…
then afterward, we could head to a park…
shoot hoops, or play soccer with the boys…
being rowdy, making lots of noise…
we’d definitely be tired, but it’d be fun…
and it too would be outside and enjoying the sun…

my beloved ms j…

and

in the evening we could venture out to duluth…
a night out on the town, and raise the roof…
some asian karaoke would be nice…
we could partner and duet gangsta’s paradise…
you can be l.l. and i’ll be coolio…
let people shout, “you be fools yo”…
as we take joy in singing out…
feeling as though this is what life is all about…

then

in the darkness of night…
we would celebrate you right…
setting off fireworks, bringing forth light…

my beloved ms j…

but

before this day was done and the evening through…
there is one last thing i’d want to do with you…
whether music was playing or we’re standing in silence…
i’d want to dance with you, looking iris to iris…
your eyes, whether more brown or green this eve’…
there is nothing more beautiful that i could conceive…
and to have you so close, being nose to nose…
it would be hard to ever let go…

my beloved ms j…

and it has been hard to let go…

for you are not here this day, for me to say what i would want to say…
walls still built up to my every word, even if they could be heard…

if only i knew that being constant and steady…
while loved by you, you just weren’t ready…
my straight-forward demeanor and loyal persistence…
suddenly was met by fear-led resistance…

i didn’t understand you pushing me away and handled it poorly initially…
though trust me when i say that i love you unconditionally…

but until we are able to have that loving, reconciling talk…
maybe doing so over a long walk…

i will hope for that day…
when i can, in your presence say…

happy bday ms j…

i love you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s